Existentialism

I don’t understand, but lately I’ve had this fascination with movie trailers.

It doesn’t matter what the film is.  I have no intention of seeing any of them.  I’m just fascinated by this little sound byte of story.  Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes they’re better than the actual film.

Maybe it’s because I have this weird thing about movies.  Call it a lack of patience, if you will, but every time I sit down to watch a film, I get bored about halfway through.  Okay, not really bored, but at some point or other I decide, “I’ve got writing to do,” and leave.

I don’t know what it is about movies and books that make me want to write, but it’s kind of a problem.

I know it doesn’t make much sense, but let me explain:

I can’t write without reading.  Exposure to the genre I’m working in pushes me onward, keeps me working.  But there’s a risk.  Sometimes I get too wrapped up in the book and I can’t tear myself away.  And then I don’t get any work done.  On the other hand, if I don’t read at all, I don’t write at all.  It’s a Catch-22, in a way.

I’ve just killed an entire afternoon watching movie previews and would like to see maybe three of the film in their entirety.  And I haven’t gotten any work done at all.

*Deep breath*

This is one of those days, one of those weeks really, where I wonder why I chose this path.  Or maybe, looking back on it, I wonder why this path chose me, because, in hindsight, I can’t see things having turned out any differently.  There was no clear moment of decision.  Everything I’ve done, conscious and unconscious, had lead me to here.

Why?

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