On a randomly choosing an assignment from Monday’s aforementioned 642 Things to Write About, what came up was simply, “Write a recipe for disaster,” and I thought, “I can do that.”
1 really bad idea
3 notions that the bad idea is a good idea
2 or more hours of boredom
6 cans of beer or 1 bottle of wine or at least 2 mixed drinks (optional)
1) Mix the really bad idea and the 3 notions until well combined. (You shouldn’t be able to tell the difference when you’re done.)
2) In a separate bowl, mix the people and the alcohol until creamy.
3) Add the boredom, a little bit at a time, until the mixture starts to stiffen.
4) Add the idea/notions mixture all at once and, as quickly as possible, work it all in.
5) Wait until the mixture is completely set. This can take a few minutes to a few hours, depending on the quality of the idea and the stupidity of the three people involved.
6) Pour into dessert cups. Garnish with arrest, property damage, or bodily harm as desired. Serve at room temperature.
*Ideally, one of them ought to be male, between the ages of 15-30, unmarried, and with no children. The third person can be omitted if both people fit this description.
Youth and Stupidity – substitute 3 people for 3 teenagers. Omit the boredom. Change garnish to angry parents if desired.
Pretty Girl – Separate the people into male and female. Set the females aside until step 4, then add with the idea. Add blood, a little at a time, until sympathy appears.
All Natural – Add 1 outdoor activity (such as whitewater rafting, camping, or rock climbing) to the people.
Sporty – Add 1 sport of any kind to the people. If sport is particularly dangerous, the alcohol is unnecessary.
Alcohol-Free – Omit the alcohol. Increase boredom until mixture starts to set. Then add the idea/notions at the last possible moment.