Are the cookies done?

Among my many other tasks at work, one of the most consistent is having to bake cookies.

I say bake not make.  There’s an important difference.  I don’t make anything.  I bake cookies, I brew coffee, I mix drinks, and I pour muffin batter.  But I don’t make anything.  Everything is pre-portioned and pre-packaged with very specific instructions so everyone does it the same way.  Every.  Single.  Time.

Important that.  Wouldn’t want someone going somewhere else and thinking they could get something other than mediocrity.

Okay, so I’m a bit bitter about this.  I understand the need for certain professional standards in a major company with a reputation like Starbucks, but, quite honestly, in taking away the ability to make something worse because people don’t care, they also took away creativity, opportunity, intelligent thought, and the chance to make something better from the people who do care.

This is sort of besides the point for this post though, seeing as how my intention was to talk about cookies.

I consider myself an understanding person, willing to see all sides of the argument and open-minded enough to acknowledge that other people can be right.

But I’m just going to have to draw the line here.

Cookies should be browned.  They should be warm and gooey when they come out of the oven and crisp and airy when they cool.  If they are still soft two days after they are cooked, they are either chemically enhanced or raw.  Unless they are macaroons or some other sticky cookie, they should be stored in a cookie jar (preferably one of the pottery variety) and they should not stick together.  You should be able to, nay, required to, remove them from the cookie sheet immediately after they come out of the oven.

Guess which one of those our cookies fit at work?

Yep.  None of them.  They get a little bit brown on the edges, but the tops are barely set.  They deflate soon after removal from the oven and become flat and unattractive.  They stick to each other.  They are soft for days baking.  And trying to take them off the cookie sheet is a recipe for disaster.

And people wonder why I don’t eat them.

I realize these are not sentiments shared by the rest of the U.S.  It seems everyone else wants their cookies soft, regardless of when they were baked.  Generally, I’d say that this is fine as long as you keep me out of it, but…no.

No.  Not this time.  I’m setting my foot down.  I may not be right about much, I may be flexible about a lot, but not this time.  I’m drawing the line.

Cookies should be baked fully and that’s all there is too it.


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