If one more person tells me: “God has a Plan for you,” I. Might. Just. Scream.
May as well throw it out there now – I have…issues with religion. It’s nothing personal – I know some lovely, kind-hearted religious people. But…it’s just…urgh. Like I said: “issues.”
But, since I brought it up, I might as well explain was the immediate problem is. I’m having some “planning and carrying through” problems. Let me elaborate:
As most of you already know, I lost my job, but that’s okay, because it’s all part of God’s Plan. I looked into getting LASIK surgery (since I have some downtime), but backed out of that once I saw their “instructional video.” This, too, is apparently part of the Plan. Same goes for NOT getting the newspaper job that I really wanted. All God’s Plan.
So I thought: “Maybe it’s God’s Plan that I go teach English in Germany.” Nope. Not within the next year at the very earliest. It is also, apparently, God’s Plan that I not move to Chicago. Okay, no problem, I can deal. Athens, Ohio? Nope, not apparently in the Plan. Marietta, Ohio? Not there either. A volunteer vacation out to Mongolia or Germany? Not apparently on the Plan either. Meaningful relationship? Nope.
So I’m here, writing my rear off and listening to my parents harp on how I need a job, any job, even if it is just a lousy, depressing retail job again. Yet every time I complain it’s the old, “Don’t worry, God has a Plan for you.”
Now let’s wait just one minute here. This “guess and fail” manner of figuring out God’s Plan is ridiculous.
“God doesn’t work on your schedule, sweetie.”
Ha ha. He might not work on my schedule, but this (to paraphrase Terry Pratchett) is playing poker in a dark room with a marked deck and no knowledge of the rules whatsoever. But apparently the Divine Dealer holds all the cards, so that’s ok. ‘Cause it’s all part of this mysterious Plan.
I’m sorry. I realize that I sound incredibly bitter and whiny. I’m indulging in a fit of self-pity here, that’s what this is. My life has been a little rocky lately and I’m have a wee bit of trouble dealing. I’m lucky enough to have a roof over my head, reasonable health, and a kitty who thinks I’m great, regardless of how my day goes.
Next week’s post will be better. Promise.