Leveling Up vs. Aging

I think we should level up instead of age.

For those of you who aren’t gamers, “leveling up” is term used in role-playing and video games to for when, after you’ve done a bunch of stuff in-game, you get to a point where you can improve your character, use stuff that lower level characters aren’t allowed to use, and generally become a lot more badass than you were.

And maybe it’s just because I’m getting close to 30, I think that leveling sounds a lot cooler than just getting old.  Leveling makes it sound like an achievement:  “Oh, I’ve made it another year–look at me.  I am awesome.”  Whereas with getting older it’s always: “Oh no, another year’s gone by.  Please, spare me the tacky birthday cards and tell the vultures to go away please.”

Certain things aren’t going to change.  I mean, levels 12 to 16 are still going to be really annoying.  Mostly this is because lower level characters learn early on that they have to be super careful if they want to make it to the next level, but by the time you hit around level 10, you start to feel pretty confident about your ability to handle things.  By the time you hit level 13 and beating the whatever-it-was that beat you to a pulp when you were level 3, you start to feel a bit…overconfident.

Up to (and here’s the best part) someone bigger and badder comes along.  Enter a level 50, which then wipes the floor with you and goes home.

Wouldn’t this be great?!  We could take care of crime in the US by making all of police forces over 80.  Hundreds of geriatrics with walkers, canes, and absolute confidence that no 25th level punk drug dealer can do anything to hurt them.  Bad attitudes from teenagers would vanish overnight.  Well, it might take a week.  I’m met some pretty dense teens.  But still…level 15 vs. level 45?  No contest.  That’s 30 years of doing stuff that level 15 doesn’t have.  Age and treachery triumph over youth and strength once again.

The only downside to this that I see is that clothes, in most games, as you level up get better, but they also get…less.  Particularly on women.  For some reason a level 3 gets a long sleeved turtleneck that protects you less than a level 30 bikini.  Now, while this is a high point for everyone around levels, say, 19 to 30, problems start to develop around 50.  By the time you hit level 80, you’ve been reduced to a fishnet body stocking and some stickers.

If I have to explain what’s wrong with that picture, you haven’t been paying attention.

So, leaving you with that image.  You’re welcome.

 

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