I’m having one of those days – one of several in a row, unfortunately – where I’m so angry that I want to rip everything to shreds. It’s a difficult feeling to elaborate on, since it seems pretty clear cut to me – I’m pissed and want to take it out on something. Preferably something that screams.
It’s gotten bad enough that every time anyone so much as speaks to me, I want to bite his or her head off. Little things that I can usually brush off have been irking me something terrible. I’ve been nasty and rude to pretty much everyone for about two days and I’m still too angry to feel bad about my behavior.
I can’t pin a reason for this behavior. Maybe it was a long weekend in too tight a proximity to too many people. Maybe it was that I spent way, way too long in a car with my mother and grandmother. I don’t take too well to prolonged social encounters in most cases – all the time I’ve spent alone in the past few years have not improved this. Maybe it’s just hormones, though that just ticks me off further. I feel that “just hormones” writes it off. Oh, it’s “just hormones.” We don’t have to worry about you. It’s “just hormones.” We don’t have to give you any extra space. It’s “just hormones.” We’re going to treat you as if nothing is wrong. It’s “just hormones.” We’re going to pat you on the head and tell you what a silly little girl you are.
I don’t understand how every roommate I’ve ever had has figured out to avoid me – especially in the mornings, when my mood is its blackest – within three weeks of knowing me, but my family expects me to be sweet tempered and all Princess Honey Sunshine before breakfast, even after 28 years of being anything but.
And certain members of my family can take their disapproving looks and stick it up their asses. I am who I am and I will not be swayed by someone frowning at me.
As far as political discussions go, those irritate me at the best of times. Right now, I am fully committed to anarchy, seeing as how it will give the lot of you something new to whine about. This goes for religion too. Shut the hell up.